28/11/11

Today,I slept at 7 in the morning.But was awakened by my grandma.But it was good for me as I had to talk with my boyfriend.It won't be a lie if I would say that I have been deprived of sleep from last 3 days.I'm afraid to fall sick.I don't want any ill-ness to ruin my body.Anyways..I started chatting with Shona.He is having his final exams starting from 1st.So I was not sure if he would come online on laptop.I didn't even ask him because I didn't want him to leave his studies and talk to me.He went to wash his face and I went to the kitchen to cook Manchurian.I went to Safeway yesterday.So on the way there's a restaurant.When I passed it down the lane,I could smell and tell that Manchurian was being cooked.That's why I thought of cooking Manchurian at home.I messaged that I will talk to Shona after 10 minutes.But I didn't know that I'll create a mess in the kitchen and grandma will scold me.I was pissed off because my Mom never shouts at me.Then after 50 minutes,as said by Shona(But I don't think so that I took 50 minutes in the kitchen)...I sent him a message and I realised that he was on his laptop.He got angry but then issues were solved.Our chatting went on.I was speaking on the phone and he was replying on messenger.I speak a lot.It's not a joke or something.I genuinely speak a lot.So I was speaking and I don't know what happened,but Shona got pissed off by what all I was saying.The things I was saying were way too stupid.I said that " I want you to be  someone who would make my life like a dream.I want that if I say sun is moon,then you should also say thay yes Baby,its moon.:)I want you to remain with me.I want you to settle down in US.I know that its not possible but may be you'll start loving me so much one day,that you'll come and stay with me.".I think any guy would get angry after listening all this crap.Then I apologised.

While talking to him another thought came in my mind.I don't know why but I felt like I have some mental disorder.A normal person can never behave in that manner.A life can never be a dream.It's not just possible that a boyfriend or husband would do everything according his girlfriend or wife.It's not possible that a guy would leave his own house and settle down with me...I'm crazy.May be I need some medical help.After thinking all this,I told Shona that I will never behave in  this manner again.I know I can't help it.But at least I can try...aah...In the end of our conversation,he showed me photos of my would be sister-in-law's baby.They have named him Ayaan..nice name:)I'm sure that he'll turn out to be a very good boy.Having a father who's a judge and a mom whose a professor,its just so good:)Lucky guy he is..Combination of a judge and a professor..I wonder what he'll become.But I'm just so happy because girls will go crazy after him.Guys with this name are very smart and handsome.I have seen that..I loved his photos.He was wrapped up in a red blanket..his face was red..his lips were red..aww...:)..I've always wanted a guy who has red,orange or pink lips..haha..my dreams!!..But Ayaan's girlfriend is going to be very lucky..I wish I was his girlfriend..:)

You know,I'm still thinking about my dreams...I don't know why I'm like this.I dream just to escape from reality..huh!! I hate myself..A house on hill..living with my boyfriend..just the two of us in that house with no arguments..and only love...Man..I'm stupid!!